Can sexual energy and esoteric practices heal physical illness? In response to an article posted by the fantastic Shashi Solluna I wish to share one of my experiences of this: I have been reluctant to share it up until now – mindful of the power of sacred sexuality, but also mindful of aggrandising claims and aware that what cures one thing will not always work universally for all things.
In 1997 I dedicated myself to what I now call Same Sex Circuitry. It was a calling, it was required of me and I accepted. I left the safe and beautiful world of man/woman sexual alchemy (yes for me it was that) and went on a mission determined to see what was possible if Goddess was worshipped/served by loving other cis women exclusively, and I didn’t run sexual energy with cis men – effectively ruling out all available tantra trainings at the time – almost like cutting your nose of to spite your face – but not quite! That was 19 years ago. 19 years of many stories. I would like to share this particular story about sexual healing.
In the years 1999/2000 an intermittent illness came to a head. I had had ulcerative colitis since my late teens, and suffered in silence for many years. For those of you unfamiliar with this dis ease ulcerative colitis is the ulceration of the large intestine, making the eating of food and excretion of said food agonific and sometimes impossible. As soon as the food touches the ulcer there is searing pain followed by rapid excretion of blood. I had had times in my life when I had no bowel control, periods where I couldn’t eat anything but mashed carrots for weeks (for some reason it was all I could tolerate). Most of the time though I managed to hold down an outside appearance of control and togetherness. I would have periods of being ill and then be fine for months or sometimes a year or two.
But in 1999 it presented itself and didn’t go away – it just got worse and worse. Food was a no no – terrible for a longterm gourmet vegan like myself and there was no remittance – I was properly ill – ill enough for me to seek help from a hospital – The Whittington – who gave me a colonoscopy, a diagnosis and an advice sheet on Crohns and UC – which basically said you have an incurable illness and here is how to get support. They also offered me various drugs including steroids and aspirin that I would have to be on all my life.
But I had already started on my own health regime – borne out of necessity – of slowly healing the ulcerative colitis once and for all. I was tuned into other worlds, was being almost inexplicably guided and would wake up knowing what I needed to do. I also had had 2 years of daily Reiki practice, meditation practice and had been training in musical cosmic woo with the likes of Jonathan Goldman. I fully believed I would heal this.
There followed a year of healing facilitated by much seclusion (I was living on my own). I learnt how to deal with the pain through mindfulness and Reiki. Learnt how to make my own medicine out of herbs – particularly the plant allies of myrrh and golden seal. At one point was taking the medicine I made half hourly, listening to what I was being guided to do and what my body wanted/needed. I started journeying with the dis ease – using trance to go deep into the cellular memory of the dis ease in my body – trying to locate the source of body pain. I found the seed of the dis-ease – which was in this life time and became clearly identifiable at being planted when I was around 9 years old. Again I used Reiki /colour and trance work to heal it.
But the most potent tool in this healing was sexual energy. Using sexual energy as a self contained force that was transmuted into creative healing energy. This was solo practice and was again working with guidance and Light. I constructed a healing grid in my large intestine and activated it through full body orgasmic energy independently of sexual union and indeed sometimes even generated just through meditation.
This was a daily practice and after a year the ulcerative colitis was healed – physically, energetically and from the root. That was 16 years ago.
So when the question gets asked – can sexual energy really heal bodily dis ease I say YES – it is a amazing resource that we don’t know the half of. For me the access that I have had to the deeper mysteries of what our own creative source is capable of, is the result of a chosen spiritual/sexual practice. This access and practice drawn from that time in my life – and then subsequently 12 years of Taoist practice informs my belief that there is a corpus of knowledge and praxis that involves and requires the conscious creation of a sexual circuitry that is not grounded through the body of some-one from the so called opposite sex. That the tantric taoist path is supported by knowledge that comes from solo and same sex mysteries and intitations as well as the healing potential through man/woman tantric practices. This has been obscured and is not generally taught but has great and hidden potential. My learning is from this lineage. (For further info on this leave your email address and I will notify you when I publish anything about this or am teaching.)
Regardless of sexuality, sexual preference and gender, sexual energy is the most transformative amazing creative energy that is universally available and I stand in solidarity with all those teaching its many arts and forms and yes however you do it lets Marvyn Gaye and get it on!
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